Oh, life!

I was 21 when I got pregnant. I was afraid back then. I don't know what to do. My mind is shifting from a thought to I guess a thousand imaginations that ate me. I fear the rejection, disappointment, responsibilities and the opportunities and dream that were gone automatically.

***

I love traveling. I always dream of traveling around the world, eating different kinds of delicacies, seeing different colorful cultures, seeing all God's wonderful creature. All gone. I know it was not taken from me. I still have all the chance I have to travel and explore given I will have new companions.

But I'm not rich. I can't even afford paying a taxi for my everyday travel. I don't even get a chance to eat luxurious foods.

Now, how can I travel? Thinking of the expenses, from fares to accommodation and pocket money? Impossible.

I just got to look on the pictures of my friends traveling. Laughing with their image, feeling 'wow'! They're so lucky!

***
I love reading, oh I really do!

I love book sales and book garage. I love collecting books and I wanted to invest on them.

But I'm not rich. I can't even afford to buy a hardbound book. I can't buy my favorite series. I am just waiting til those books become part of book sales.

Yeah, I envy my friends that were able to buy their books once they're out in stores, costing them hundreds and even thousands of peso. They're so lucky! They are able to get what they loved!

***
I love eating.

I love Filipino dishes as well as Korean and Japanese. 

I would love to try Indian foods or Persian foods.

I'd really like to try eating in a buffet - Vikings, Yakimix and the like.

I'd like to try exotic foods. Unusual flavors of ice cream. 

Different pastas or noodles, pizzas and pies.
Yum! Yum!

But I can only afford to eat at Jollibee, Mcdo, KFC, Chow King and for me the most expensive - Tokyo!Tokyo! Haha.. And I only get to eat there twice a month- every payday.

My friends posting their fine dining experiences or buffet eat-out or stress eating makes me jealous.


But... When I realized what I have in front of me?
I feel not lucky, but BLESSED!

I may not be able to travel the world, but I get to explore the journey of motherhood. I get to see God's wonderful creature molded inside of my own womb. I got to cry my heart out of pain during labor and smile sweetly as I fell in love at first sight when my baby was born. That's more than climbing a mountain, huh?

I may not be able to buy expensive and brand new books, but I was able to read how great God is. I got to know how a baby is developed. I got to know how to become a parent.
The best book that I am currently holding is a work in progress life story of our growing family. Bet you can't see that in any bookstores!

I may not be able to eat heartily as they do, paying a hundred to thousands for just pancakes and pastas, but I can eat healthy food in my kitchen. It is a priceless job preparing food for your loved ones. It is very touching seeing them satisfied and would ask for more whenever I get to cook their favorites.

***

Yes I am not rich, those dreams could have been forgotten.
But my current state makes me love life.
I have a beautiful family that defines who I am today. :)

I no longer need to be jealous. Maybe I won't be able to experience what they're experiencing, but I am so grateful that I was given this new life to fulfill, these responsibilities to accomplish and this chance to love and be loved!

Always be grateful of what you have.
Do not ever compare.
Our lives are designed differently.
Live passionately :)



Share:

0 comments