My Unplanned Pregancies and Late Wedding



I actually created a post about this yesterday but it got lost. I don't know why. But maybe that post wasn't good enough and incomplete.

Okay, so I was on my way going to work. The radio station aired a story of a guy who refused to marry his girl after she got pregnant. Why? kasi aksidente lang daw yung nangyari.
You are in a relationship with someone and you will say that 'it was an accident'?
If not for love and/or marriage, is it really just for fun, for sex? Is having a relationship nowadays simply just for lust?

I became a mom at the age of 21, unplanned pregnancy. Yes, our relationship had gone to 'baby dress before wedding dress'. But we didn't think of it as 'accident'. Maybe unexpected, but it was formed out of love - just in a wrong way because we didn't wait until we got married.

Wedding. What does it really mean to us?
We have different opinions about this but one fact that I'm sure you'd agree to me, the 'natural' meaning of wedding is being with someone you loved tied in the form of marriage.

The DJ asked, "Kelan ba nauso na magpapakasal ka dahil lang sa bata?"

Traditionally, if a woman got pregnant, it is the guy's responsibility to give that child a name and create a family for 'them'. But for some instances, that's not the case. Because we are sometimes being carried away, we do things out of lust, excitement and pleasure without thinking what would happen next. Then we blame the child or the 'accident' that had occured.

I personally believe that sex is sacred and we were one who violated its sacredness.

"Wag mo ng patungan ng kasalanan ang isa pang kasalanan" my mom told me. So we decided to make it right. It was not easy. It was not immediate. We need to consider a lot of things. We need to know our priorities.

My son was born. His christening was celebrated. He turned one. It didn't happen just yet. We are still unmarried. We honestly no longer focus on it. We invest for our house. We buy the things we need. We barely save because our income was tight.

Until... we are expecting again!

Yes, for the second time! We haven't corrected it yet, and here comes another responsibility.
I don't know what to think. I was afraid, more afraid than the first pregnancy.

I almost condemned myself and think that maybe God is punishing us because of our disobedience.

My parents of course weren’t expecting this because we're using contraceptives. That's one of the reason I think of this as punishment.
Yes, I am a Christian. But I guess what I am feeling comes from human nature - out of fear and shock.
My mentor explained to me that it's a blessing but she pushed us to get married ASAP.

I once learned that if something becomes recurring, then it means there something about it that I haven't learned yet. Maybe a sign that we should be doing it - set it as our PRIORITY.

And so, on August 30 it happened. Amidst INC's rally, it was successful. It was fulfilling. It was filled with pure joy and freedom.
Freedom from the bondage of sin.

Mommies, I don't know what you're facing right now. Maybe you have the same problem. You may be facing an unplanned pregnancy or late marriage - take heed! God is not condemning us for our wrongdoings but He is stretching us! He will use all ways possible, it may be painful, but it will lead us to a good life.

Remember, we are always being stretched by God; our willingness to be stretched will be the key to a better life.

***

For the soon-to-be-mom from the guy's story that was featured in that radio station, I pray that God will give you answers to your confusions, will send you healing for all the hurts.

It's never too late to start, to change or be better!
After our wedding, I personally saw a lot of changes, in me and in my husband. We feel lighter, parang nabunutan ng tinik. We made the right thing and we're happy! It may have caused us debts, but we know that God will never leave us. As our pastor told us, "we can expect showers of blessings from God because we obeyed."

"Scripture is clear about marriage being a holy and divinely established covenant. It is equally clear about our obligation to honor and obey the laws of our earthly governments, which are also divinely established authorities"

"It's not the "ceremony" that's important in a marriage, it's the couple's covenant commitment before God and men."

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Though this world may confused us or change the way we live, we shouldn't gone wrong with our beliefs about marriage, if an unplanned pregnancy butts in, do not hesitate to ask for forgiveness and please, please moms, do the right thing!

Now, if it happened not out of love, for me, do not marry the man (but don't think of it as accident or mistake). It will only bypass the meaning of marriage. It will destroy the beauty of 'family' and 'commitment'. But pray for it, for him, for the both of you and asked God of the right thing to do. Ask God to bless you and the child and return to Him :)

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